This Is What She Said.

This is about a lady coming home from a four-day trip & standing on the corner of the road with her bags at 6am waiting for no one.

This is about choices.

Reasons to love, reasons not to.

This is about a lady, standing along at 6am with her bags, which are packed.

This is about not knowing if she's coming or going.

He called. breathless. It would be fun, he said over the phone, with sidebars of do's and don'ts, tips & etiquette, that sort of thing. A part of her worried that the whole thing would come crashing down on her. She loses her lover & then all of her disappointment with life. She faces real fears and would have to accept the truth. At least he wasn't calling her because she'd done something wrong.

And while it's trust, she didn't break any rules, she doesn't mean to hurt people and she doesn't want to lie.

Tell her how to make it work and how not to f*ck it up.

Everything said and left unsaid. all the tiny lies and the way they protect themselves and each other.

If he said he could make a Wednesday night date, how she founds herself taking the first full breath of the day. When he called to say Wednesday, she giggled. she sounded like a child. she realized she could make it thru today & tomorrow & the next day.

It does trigger painful experiences, which is why she has to have her eyes wide open if she's going to do this. It operates in the theater of love and intimacy they bump up against their deep woundings all the time. but the opportunity here is to wake up, to realize that they each create dramas.

The mistake they make is hoping that other people will make changes that will make them more comfortable.

People will never love you the way you want to be loved, even if they love you very much. If you can, you must allow yourself to fall in love a little. That’s where the juice is. Managing that love can be tricky; to care, but not too much; to feel, but not be overwhelmed with feeling. To be able to remember in detail what he feels like inside of her, to reach for his hand.

She will find herself checking her cell phone. she will be distracted, sometimes unable to sleep, she'll swoon & it will remind her at times. She can make an impression, but she shouldn’t leave a mark.

A major part of what makes this special is the unavailability, the great passionate gaps in between their time together. Want it, long for it, let the hunger happen, that’s what keeps it alive, because in the end they’re just people. Enjoy the small amounts of time they get to see each other, savor those sessions and leave their date just a little hungry.

It's all good until it isn't, and each person has to make that decisions for themselves. she can't say. there are no guarantees. there are just a few things for now.